Put on Your Helmet On before You Eat

Apparently all enjoyment must be sucked out of life with the banning of tea and toast from being served by a group that meets weekly in England. I would give you more details, but read the thing yourself before I have a brain aneurysm. Apparently our litigious culture has gotten to the point where we are unable to serve prison food to our children for fear of someone burning themselves on toast and bringing in Jackie Chiles to bleed them dry.

What weaklings we are raising today; they fear everything. When I was a child my parents used to intentionally put out food that was hotter than the sun and made of lava. Sure it was cruel, but it taught me an important lesson about life: never eat fire. Years of therapy have taught me that I am stronger because of it.

Thanks Slashfood for making me hate the world