February 13, 2007

Time to Mortgage the House

Because the Eater wants to marry Frank Bruni, they now take odds on how many stars a restaurant is going to receive in his weekly restaurant review.

Despite my initial sarcasm I actually think this is a pretty interesting idea, giving the food world something a little different that a daily dish of mindless foodie blather (something the Hungry Barbarian would NEVER advocate, much less do. We’re not about mindless web postings here, we post substance.).

Anyway, I feel that Eater really needs to spice things up though so I’ve designed my version of this week’s BruniBetting:

PERA (Turkish Cuisine )

--Bruni reminds us how to feel again 35 -1
--Turkish fusion hits midtown like a comet, changing lives 20-1
--Pera owners buy Bruni a unicorn, he is happy 15-1
--No one takes the Turks seriously, no one 3-1 ***
--Mindless Stupidity 55-1

DENNIS FOY (No Clue-Cuisine)

--Foy cries himself to sleep, feeling that no one loves him 60 -1
--Bruni takes his Valentine’s Day aggression of crappy price fixe menu’s out on the owners review; he comes across as spiteful 2-1 *** (this may be more likely for me than Bruni)
--Dennis Foy serves human, put him on the culinary fringes and making him a cult hero to foodies everywhere. 10-1
--Bruni becomes enraged at service, eats200 oysters out of spite 5-1
--Placeholder to reach 5 things 75 million-1

Sure anyone can bet on what he may actually do, but it takes a real genius to bet on what will never happen. I was born to gamble.

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