February 8, 2007

Unicorn would be tasty.

Sure I’m one for the advancement of modern science, but when did we all become such lazy fat asses?

According to an article by the BBC, nanotechnology has now made it possible to have lower fat mayo for fatty adults and milk that tastes like “cola” (those silly Brits, no one says cola) so kids would drink it. Milk that tastes like Pepsi? Since when doesn’t a good beating enthuse kids about drinking milk by the gallon? Why else would I have teeth made of steel and bones that can stop bullets. Calcium baby, calcium.

What I can’t figure out is why is the current mentality is to make life so boring. Give me a challenge. I shouldn’t eat mayo because it will make me fat? Then I won’t eat it despite how good that dill mayo looks slathered on my sandwich….so good…..so tasty….I could just lick you off, I could.….

Food should be challenging, simplifying takes away what makes it great. My grandma’s ricotta filled creampuffs were amazing, because they were a decedent treat because you knew they were so bad for you. The fun was in the naughtiness of it. Making everything ok to eat, fat less fatty, milk not taste like milk at all? Where are the culinary antithesis’s that true enjoyment needs?

On the plus side, I look forward to the coming day where cows will simply crap out hamburgers ready to go and I can dine on the legendary pigeon-rat. Half pigeon, half rat, all delicious.

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